Anger Ages 13-18

| Age 13-18, Parent Resources
Helping your Children navigate their Teen years:
Managing Anger: Theirs and Yours
Anger without control can sometimes be dangerous and may even become violent. Many adults are not good at managing anger, and expressing this emotion in a healthy way. Some adults see anger as an emotion that should be suppressed, because it leads to trouble.

With the many changes that occur during adolescence, it’s not unusual for teenagers to feel anger and resentment toward parents. Adolescents struggle to establish prepare for adulthood.
Sometimes anger is their way of asserting independence. Resolving conflict constructively may be a huge challenge, but it’s an absolute necessity for the sake of every member of your family.
But how do you keep calm when you feel pushed to the limit? Here are some suggestions:

Tips for Calming Down Resolving Conflict
Pick your battles. Sometimes the issue is not worth the anger, or worth arguing about. Give your point of view. State the problem as you see it; speak clearly and calmly. Don’t yell.
Take a deep breath; count to ten. Think about the issue before a single word comes out of your
Ask to hear your teen’s point of view.
Go for a walk. Pay attention, listen, and carefully consider what your teen is saying.
Use self-talk to calm down. That is, say something soothing to yourself such as: I need to relax and stay calm. I can’t afford to blow up Discuss ways to solve the dispute without a battle.
Reframe the issue. For example, when your son says something rude to you, it may be less a matter of him is respecting you than a sign that he has a problem with his anger. Framing it this way, you focus on the fact that he needs your help in overcoming this problem. Practice the art of compromise. Find the middle ground you can both live with comfortably.
Use humor. Humor can sometimes be a good way to calm anger, but be sure not to use sarcasm, which can sometimes be hurtful. Assert your authority, when appropriate, but in a calm yet firm manner.
What If the Anger Doesn’t Stop?
When anger becomes a chronic problem for someone in the family, the underlying issue may be larger than you or your teen can manage. If you even think your family is at this crisis point, or if you even think you or any member of your family has a serious problem with anger management, it’s time to seek help from a mental health professional. Recognize that this situation necessitates counseling, and sometimes that means the entire family will need help.